New to this site. I sure was glad I found this forum. When you become a mom it's like people think it's instant bliss. Let your truth be there. I knew I hated being a mom I sent my son's to live with him 5 years later I met my first husband we had a son and I actually wanted to have a real family. Finally, after four years of being a mother, I realized I was not a failure. You tidy them up and then look at the room and say "I did that". I don’t know what I’m doing a lot of the time even though I’ve been at this a long time. An Extraordinary Year of Milestones in DNA Testing, 4 Signs of Burnout as a (Mental) Health Professional. Even if I do all the great mom things like cupcakes and volunteering and chaperoning and arranging boardgame nights and jumping on the trampoline...all things I do...the girls are never satisfied. Yet it is also a difficult and terrible challenge. Think about starting a blog for moms like you - there are lots of them out there! Nothing prepared me for how difficult it would be. You don't believe your mother loves you and you've never been able to pinpoint why. My attention and affection from my husband it all goes to her now. No, how you feel about babies before you have one isn't an accurate predictor of the kind of mother you'll become. I'm so glad I found this forum. Why? I've gained so much weight. He was never going to marry me and when your young you want to believe in forever especially when that person becomes your everything. I watched him suck his tiny fingers and observed my little baby, who had found his hand and blankie as a way to self-soothe almost three years ago. By focusing on all the things I might be missing, I was wasting what is right in front of me. It’s found, Jesus said, in giving our lives away. I never have time to myself. I don’t like being angry, but when she starts screaming, hitting and kicking, and just refuses to do what I ask, I honestly don’t know what to do. Not that I could, there is this cliquey-ness and this superficial friendliness that is confusing. This is fascinating, but TRUE! But I miss the way things were before we had our daughter. I don’t know what I’m doing a lot of the time even though I’ve been … All of a sudden they are starting their own business, taking some classes, traveling, etc. Don't, say the experts. I don't like being such a monster. This is especially true when it comes to parenting. I hate everything about it. I'm a husband of a wife feeling this. I feel like I’m not myself anymore,like I don’t know who I am. It’s just not as easy as get a part time job. Honest Question: Do you ever feel like a failure as a Mom – Or what we call that “Mom Guilt” feeling, day in and day out. Of these single parents, 80.4% are mothers. With other families sometimes. MJ October 14th, 2017 at 6:43 PM . fuck everything. If I’m being honest, I don’t feel very lucky, and I don’t feel very grateful. St. John says the k-word makes for a great filter, because you won't get attached to someone who doesn't like or want kids. people who judge or brand or do not understand are not people you need to heed. Please share an email address or group link to where this conversation is continuing! The program is even guaranteed for 30 days. Published: 20:07 EDT, 28 June 2012 | Updated: 04:22 EDT, 29 June 2012 Her kids are old enough for her to work. Being a mom is the toughest job I have ever done. You're Supposed To Love Your Mom Because, Well, She's Your Mom. The "joy" does not come from the late nights spent breast-feeding a colicky baby, nor changing dirty diapers, dealing with a husband who feels "neglected", or even running a house. The serving and the slaving and the getting the meal on the table are deadening and she feels resentful. Because that’s what always happens when we voice the heaviness of our heart out loud. Worried about being a late mum? I envy mothers who experienced tremendous joy when they saw their child for the first time. I really don’t know if I can handle this on my own. I'm so ashamed for how I feel and I know I need help but how do I ask WITHOUT being labeled a bad mother. It's never happened no matter how much I try. Isn't Raising Your Children More Important Than Your Career. I’m lucky to have such an awesome husband that I could literally spend every second of the day with... but these three kids prevent me from fully loving myself and my life. Required fields are marked *. I don’t make my girls make their beds before school. Best, Carrie. And she’s rubbing off on my other kiddo who is sweet and listens so far. Makes me feel like the worst mom ever. She passed this sense of duty and self-sacrifice down (through example) to Didi, who also feels like she "should" be there as a perfect stay-at-home mom, happy and fulfilled. "People feel free to comment on other’s parenting skills. Just last night I prayed that I would do better for my oldest. Why are so many people drawn to conspiracy theories in times of crisis? It is difficult living in the same house as someone you don’t really like. He hates eating solids and is 11 months. I agree with all of these women that say it is exhausting and lonely. My parents divorced when I was 3 I was raised by my mother who wasn't happy being a single mom so when I was 13 she eloped with someone I'd never met before suddenly she was gone half of the time my girlfriend's in highschool loved coming over because there was zero adult supervision. Here are a few main points of the horrible side: First of all, being a mother is deeply depersonalising. The way I treat her is destroying her for life. My son has oppositional defiant disorder and he hits me and says he hates me. It’s all true. I have a 6 year old daughter who seems to always get on my nerves. But mother him too much and he’s likely to get used to it. And babies...I love. 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